Posts by Nathan Natas

24

Is there an official name for this comedic device?

by Island Man in

is there an official name for the comedic device where one replaces one word with another word having a similar pronounciation but a different (usually derisive) meaning?.

for example, some skeptics deride the bible by spelling it "buy-bull".

same or simliar pronounciation but entirely different meaning.

Nathan Natas

In the trade, (mostly among the Eastern Jester band of colporteurs and harlequins) it is known as "Randolph's Ankle."

37

lost my job, just a week before making the final arrangements to move into my very own apartment.. got a speeding ticket on the following sunday for trying to make it to the meeting "on time", (never made it to the hall, just parked in the back of a shopping center for 2 hours in silence).. marked by the elders for quitting pioneering, no more commenting and "failing to adhere to bible counsel".. jw family sees me as a disappointment.

non-jw family is too far away to care.. found out ex-girlfriend got df'ed and is now pregnant.

puts some of the blame on me for how things turned out.. realizing that she's not entirely wrong as i was still an ignorant, kiss-ass, die hard jwdub when we started dating, always putting the "kingdom interests first" never having time for her since "the end was so freaking close" and then warping her up in the mess of me learning ttatt.. dwelling night after night in "what could have been" if i had never been a jw.. alternating between being a theist, atheist and agnostic on a daily basis to the point where i don't care anymore yet getting creeped the f*ck out when facing my own mortality and the thought of me dying alone.. always coming to the same conclusion, when i find myself alone on friday nights and weekends, that i have no actual friends, only two conditional jw "friends" which are both currently out of town for about a month and 0 real, non-jw friends.. haven't been able to sleep well in literally weeks now.

Nathan Natas

You haven't said where you are in the world.

You ask for help, but I am not a doctor.

Get yourself to a doctor - a psychologist or a psychiatrist - (a psychiatrist can precribe drugs, a psychologist can't).

The right medication and learning how to see your experiences from the proper perspective can help you.

14

Can you be DFd if you were never really baptised?

by Slidin Fast in

here's a question.

i was baptised at a very early age.

it may have been as early as ten years old.

Nathan Natas

Your JW baptism is as "legal and binding" as your menbership in Captain Video's Rocket Rangers. Both "organizations" were formed at the whim of men for entertainment purposes only, except that Catain Video was more up-front about the entertainment value of his club. To determine the entertainment value of RELIGION you will need to meditate on the words of the Apostle Paul, who wrote that

" It seems to me that God has put us apostles in the worst possible place. We are like prisoners on their way to death. Angels and the people of this world just laugh at us." -- 1 Corinthians 4:9 (CEV)

Paul makes similar hints in other letters too, but Suday schools don't devote a lot of time to contemplating those riddles.

For years I have said that baptism is the first step in becoming an XJW. It's similar to saying that marriage is the first step toward divorce, or that only those who are born can die.

Ultimately, these things are without meaning. Appreciate the absurd universe for the cosmic funhouse it is.

11

How can I convert Mormon to something else?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

i know this question might be in the wrong forum, maybe i will have the courage to post this question at the mormon exjw forum.

.

Nathan Natas

Torture has been proven effective.

63

Mom says "You will die at Armageddon" - good replies?

by serendipity in

jw
friends

my mother retired from her full-time job recently and has started attending meetings again.

she also has plenty of time to think about her wayward children, including me.

one night, we were talking and she asked me, again, why i wasn't going to meetings.

Nathan Natas

I am NOT a nice guy. My response would be, "You will die of old age before that happens!"

28

Ohio woman thanks lawyer for saving her life 36 years ago from Jehovah's Witnesses

by Watchtower-Free in

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/03/ohio-woman-thanks-lawyer-who-saved-her-life-36-years-ago/1#.uqm0_ltwulp.

ohio woman thanks lawyer for saving her life 36 years ago by douglas stanglin, usa todayupdated 2012-03-27 9:29 amflorida attorney joel cohen says the e-mail he recently got from carolynn ivey "raised the hair on my neck.

" the last time she was a part of cohen's life, carolynn ivey weighed less than 2 pounds and desperately needed a lifesaving blood transfusion despite the religious objections of her parents.. cohen, then a young pensacola attorney, was tapped by the escambia county circuit court to become temporary guardian to give legal consent for the transfusions for carolynn and her twin sister, julia, the pensacola news journal reports.

Nathan Natas

Thanks for posting this. Being a Master of the non-sequiter, I must ask, "Why did Carolyn Ivey's Dad go to prison for the rest of his life?"

This becomes even more meaningful as the WTB&TS s-l-o-w-l-y backs away from the blood issue. Soon they will claim they never forbid blood just as they now claim 1975 never happened. Good thing they're not a cult.

11

They all laughed when I insisted that the Yellowstone caldera was a threat...

by Nathan Natas in

strangely enough, jesus never warned that "there will be wars and rumors of wars, but if the yellowstone caldera blows, we're toast.".

...and jesus' composite bride through the pages of the watchtower, never suggested that deeply-dipped dubs ought to move out of the area downwind of yellowstone, lest they be transformed in the twinkling of an eye into crispy monoliths.. but up here in the uadna orbiting space platform, things are different.

we're rational.

Nathan Natas

Strangely enough, Jesus never warned that "there will be wars and rumors of wars, but if the Yellowstone caldera blows, we're toast."

...and Jesus' composite bride through the pages of The Watchtower, NEVER suggested that deeply-dipped Dubs ought to move OUT of the area downwind of Yellowstone, lest they be transformed in the twinkling of an eye into crispy monoliths.

But up here in the UADNA orbiting space platform, things are DIFFERENT. We're RATIONAL. We test our hypotheses against demonstrable, repeatable and verifiable REALITY. This is the cross we bear for you.

http://nypost.com/2013/12/12/beneath-yellowstone-a-volcano-that-could-wipe-out-u-s/

35

Earthly Organization Reset - What Would You Do?

by committeechairman in

i've been reading and posting comments on this site for a while now (about a year) and the comments i see indicate that many who are here have good ideas about what would be required if either (1) jehovah's witnesses were completely reset and the whole framework of belief and organization were started over or (2) if a completely new organization were built.

this assumes, of course, that you believe god exists and that he is interested in human affairs (i know some of you don't).

it also assumes that you do not believe that the "heritage" of jehovah's witnesses has such great weight and importance that it precludes putting all beliefs and procedures on the table to examine them and change them if necessary.. given all this, what do you believe should be the beliefs and organization of true worship today?

Nathan Natas

What part of "RELIGION IS A SNARE AND A RACKET" do you not understand?

20

Have you ever scared the crap out of someone?

by Nathan Natas in

jw
friends

the recent thread about "supernatural" experiences helped me to remember the times i enjoyed playing frightening pranks on people.. example #1: years ago the employees at a place i worked for had a 40th birthday party for one of the women we worked with.

it was a typical "somber and dark" humorous party with black balloons, black candles on the birthday cake... all meant to suggest that at 40 ife as you know it is just about over.

it's funny, but 25 years after my 40th birthday i'm yearning for those days when things were better.. ...but i digress.

Nathan Natas

GOOD WORK, Cofty! That's a great story!

Some folks might feel that practical jokes are mean or hurtful. Obviously a "joke" that ends in the death or injury of the victim goes beyond the kind of jokes that I'm talking about.

My thesis is this: life is pretty harsh and always comes to a bad ending. Therefore he who has been "hardened" a bit has an evolutionary advantage; he is better able to adapt to the challenges and changes that time delivers. Those that soil their shorts and fall over in shock will be less likely to make a lasting contribution to the gene pool.

OUR ancestors were survivors, else we would not be here. Hiding under the covers when a wolf or a "demon" comes into your cave at night is not an effective survival strategy.

I do this in service to humanity; no need to thank me.

20

Have you ever scared the crap out of someone?

by Nathan Natas in

jw
friends

the recent thread about "supernatural" experiences helped me to remember the times i enjoyed playing frightening pranks on people.. example #1: years ago the employees at a place i worked for had a 40th birthday party for one of the women we worked with.

it was a typical "somber and dark" humorous party with black balloons, black candles on the birthday cake... all meant to suggest that at 40 ife as you know it is just about over.

it's funny, but 25 years after my 40th birthday i'm yearning for those days when things were better.. ...but i digress.

Nathan Natas

The recent thread about "supernatural" experiences helped me to remember the times I enjoyed playing frightening pranks on people.

Example #1: Years ago the employees at a place I worked for had a 40th birthday party for one of the women we worked with. It was a typical "somber and dark" humorous party with black balloons, black candles on the birthday cake... all meant to suggest that at 40 ife as you know it is just about over. It's funny, but 25 years after my 40th birthday I'm yearning for those days when things were better.

...but I digress. The party was good-natures fun and everyone had a nice time. After the party during the clean-up, somehoe some inflated black balloons found their way into a large storage closet - a large walk-in windowless closet with racks for storage of printed literature, equipment that might find use in a meeting (projectors, TVs, VCRs, etc.). Time passed, and the black balloon deflated a bit and began to collect a nice film of dust on its surface which was held in place by static electricity. This completely changed the way the ballon looked... it didn't resemble a balloon anymore, it looked like a cannon-ball, which is what I first thought it was when I saw it patiently sitting there.

I picked the "cannon-ball" up with both hands and held it in front of myself with my shoulders rounded as they might be had this really been a 50-pound (24 kilo) cannon ball. I shuffled up to the desk where one of the guys I worked with was sitting and said, "Why do we have a cannon-ball in the storage closet?" as I tossed the "cannon-ball" toward him in an arc that would have had it land in his lap had it really been a 50-pound ball of iron.

BOY did he jump to protect the family jewels!

I've got a couple other examples I can share, but they'll each take a bit of time to type up, so I'll add them later if there is any interest.